Last night I fell down, again. I added another big bruise to my hip because I fell hard on the edge of concrete while carrying a heavy tool box. This has been an ongoing issue for over 4 years.
In 2015 my lower left leg was rebuilt after a catastrophic wreck. Part of the rebuild involved taking tissue from the top of my foot to rebuild the damaged or missing tissue at the base of my leg. The rebuild is a story for another time.
CONFUSED NERVES
The tissue relocation caused a bit of confusion. While I was still in the hospital, my big toe was sure it was growing out of my ankle. To say that is an odd sensation would be an understatement.
Once I started walking, my toes figured out where they were & have been relatively satisfied with being in their original spot. Some nerves are still healing and reconnecting. There are areas that have no feeling, but those areas are gradually shrinking.
My leg & foot still telegraph ghost sensations, but they are only noticeable when I stop to notice. For example, if I run my finger across the top edge of the big Zombie scar on my lower leg, the base of my toes still tingle, but it is a faint sensation. Other aspects of my leg rebuild are quite miraculous. I have near normal flexibility and strength in my leg.
REHAB SUCCESS
It was, and still is, very important to me to not look or feel handicapped. I made great strides in rehabbing my body after the injury. For the last 4 plus years, I have been very consistent in improving my strength and flexibility. Most people who do not know about the wreck, have no clue that titanium rods, plates & screws in multiple places keep me upright and mobile. I alway consider it a complement when someone says, “I had no idea.”
NIGGLING FEAR
I lead an active life. I ride motorcycles, I hike, I wrestle with my grandkids, I lift heavy objects, I do lots of DIY carpentry & mechanical stuff when I am not schlepping video gear all over the country. Unfortunately, the falling has also been rather active. I fall often. Too often. The falls have added an underlying fear to all the above mentioned activities. If you google balance issues or loss of control of of your leg, all sorts of horrid diseases pop up. Of course, that added to the niggling fear that something else was going on in my body.
BRUISES & A LIGHTBULB MOMENT
Then last night’s fall happened. It was almost identical to all the other falls, plus the sticker patch I fell into. My left foot gets tangled on something that I could have sworn I stepped over. Or on an uneven surface, my foot doesn’t meet a solid surface at the point I thought it would. As I struggled to get up without embedding stickers in my hands, butt & legs, I was replaying the fall in my head. I know it very well by now.
Then the light bulb in my brain flickered on. and the fall mystery was solved. If I am looking at the thing I am stepping over, I go over it. If I just do it, the nerves that were previously located at the top of my foot tell me the left leg cleared the object. Those foot nerves forget to add the other 4” needed to actually step OVER, ON or DOWN TO that object. The nerves that tell me my leg and foot are high enough or low enough to make that step, are still a bit confused. This also explains my unsettled feeling when I put my bike on the kick stand or pick it up from the kickstand, Or any slow riding activity where I use my legs too. I could never quite figure out why I felt a bit off balance in those situations. Now I know!
Does this mean I will quit falling? I’m sure the rest of my bruised & achy body would like to say Yes! I am not going to predict that these falls stop immediately, but I know now to teach those nerves to add that 4” difference in altitude.